Just thought I'd finally make it official.
And my reason?
Just... my semester.
I took the Asian 5-pack in terms of courses for Gr 12
And I ended up having 4 of 5 of those.
MY SEMESTER CONSISTS OF CHEMISTRY, PHYSICS, ADVANCED FUNCTIONS, AND BIOLOGY.
MY NORMAL DAYS AFTER SCHOOL ARE SPENDING FROM 4 - 5 HOURS DOING HOMEWORK. NORMAL
AND BY THAT, I MEAN WHEN I DONT
HAVE A PROJECT DUE OR A TEST TMRW.
My weekends are even worse cuz I actually do have a life so I go and do either driving lessons or stuff with friends or whatever on top of the 10 hours of homework (not even lying here... I legitimately spend a whole day of my weekend specifically on homework TO "AVOID" PROCRASTINATION) I have because my teachers believe that because it's the weekend, it means that we're capable of doing more work.
I'm trying to get into biochem for university, which means that I OBVIOUSLY need bio and chem as well as the two maths they offer in Ontario (Advanced Functions and Calculus + Vectors)~ And the only way I can get into my program is if I get at least an 87 average.
Not bad, considering how I usually get a 95 avg tbh
But I've actually just been really unlucky this past month (like "this can't be Sheena because I thought she was smart" kind of unlucky) and now I'm Asian-failing physics (75; it was a test out of 28 and I messed only ONE question wrong, which dropped me from a 97 to a 75. yeah.) and adv. functions (88; CUZ I COMPLETELY BOMBED THE DIAGNOSTIC AND ENDED UP WITH A 58. but honestly, the fact that i got a 93 on the first unit test was a real confidence booster, so apparently that 58 is recoverable. Also, it was only a diagnostic phewww...) that, and there's a ton to memorize for organic chem and biochem (in biology... it's macromolecules and stuff <3 *fangirls over enzymes*) and I already have two formal labs and unit tests for all four of these subjects coming up before the Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend (Oct. 11) AND JUST IM FREAKING OUT OKAY.
And of course, the biggest reason is that I need the money that comes out of high grades... like the scholarships and stuff. And so because I have my most important subjects this semester, I simply can't afford to slack off anymore. Hell, right now it's 7:15 and I'm freaking out because I have about 1.5 hours worth of both Chem and Physics respectively on top of the bio stuff and just... *table flips* BUT APPARENTLY WHEN YOU HAVE MY SUBJECTS / COURSE LOAD, A 95 AVG IS RIDICULOUSLY HARD TO OBTAIN. SO *cries*
This might be one of my more rash decisions, but I've been thinking about doing this for ages and I simply can't have this up without it haunting me about all the obligations I owe people and such. Yes, dA is actually one of the factors of my stress.
And so this is why I'm simply just not coming back. I might come back next year when my work load cools down (seriously, I have NO hard subjects next year amg) AND ALSO GOINGSKYWARD WHEN YOU READ THIS DONT FREAK OUT IM LIKE 75% DONE YOUR COMMISSION I JUST CANT FIND THE TIME TO FINISH IT SO IF YOU DONT MIND, I'LL USE MY ~GarudoNyx
ACCOUNT TO GIVE THAT TO YOU DONT WORRYYYYY) but honestly, I sincerely doubt it.
I need to start earning my own money, so I'm going to pick up a job or something... that, and I'm doing tutoring (paid AND unpaid; unpaid so I have a chance at that Science Award) And also I did mention that music has been such a big part of my life too... I have two RCM exams coming up before I graduate and the cover band stuff and the steel pan stuff <3 I wish I still had the opportunity to show it to you guys, but meh life happens.
And now for the sappy part about my "I AM LEAVING DAMMIT" journal:
It was very nice knowing all of you! I spent like 3 years here, and they were 3 years that helped me grow as a person. I was really anti-social in gr 9 and often spent my time on fanfiction and dA as an escape from reality / to keep me company. I may sound upbeat and awesome here (haha sure) but irl, I was an intravert, shy Asian girl who did nothing but study and half-ass her way through life.
So essentially I was a loser who liked anime.
That's the label I ended up with in Gr 9 and is why people avoided me.
But by meeting people here and learning to hold a conversation and socialize without the pressure of being face-to-face / judged harshly helped me figure out how to develop my relationships irl! The besties I made on this site know who you are (we were like a crew hahaa~) and seriously, I still value you guys so much! Thank you for everything and maybe we might get lucky and meet in person someday... idk how we'd recognize each other, but hahaa if you happen to meet a Filipino girl named Sheena who has straight teeth and doesn't look like she cares about what her hair looks like... that's /probably/ me. Probably.
Amg, am I gonna miss all of you guys =/ You were the biggest reason I didn't want to leave, but as you noticed, I've been spreading the distance from myself and you guys as much as I can over the course of the two years and that's really because I started to enjoy life outside of the computer... I started to really live and I just didn't need to use the Internet to keep me company as much. It was really so one day (like today), I could like... Okay, think about it this way: dA is like a nest that sheltered me, but once I grew up and was ready, this "leaving dA" thing is me being pushed out of the nest so I can finally learn to fly
Idk, wingy metaphors... that's just like me ^^"
*sighs* I really will miss all of you
you've all been so nice to me T^T
20K PVs too guys~ I wish I could draw a kiriban for thanksss but...
And for the 9 new watchers that decided to watch me for whatever reason (idk why, but you guys are so cool) sorry I couldn't stick around a while longer for you to see any new uploads ^^"
Pray for me.
My luck so far has been a double-edged sword lately (BEST teachers, but SUICIDE semester, etc.), so I need all the help I can get.
Again, thank you for everything you guys have done for me! And if I'm lucky, I might even end up coming back... (well, obviously I will till Oct. cuz I need to answer any last questions before I disappear off of dA) but yeah