wingz-G

UPDATE 1: SORRY FOR THE MOMENTARY PAUSE; WILL RETURN AROUND 2 PM EST
UPDATE 2: SORRY THAT DIDNT HAPPEN, RANDOM SHIT HAPPEN ILL EXPLAIN IN A DIFF JOURNAL

haii~
this isnt a prank LOL

come come im drawing aichi  
join.me/959-898-067

Haha, I leave for something of 10 months and I've accumulated over 12k notifications and 5 notes wow
(I didn't think I'd be so missed ^^")
SO YEAH HI. IM WINGZ YOU PROBS DONT REMEMBER ME BUT THATS OK

I went though all of the new deviations and ohmy, have a lot of you improved over this past year
( , , , , , ,   , and  just to name a few. I'd name every person I saw in my notifications if I could)

Unfortunately, I can say with absolute certainty that this isn't a permanent comeback D: dA often became a source of my stress during school, so I'm afraid I'm going to have to drop it again once uni starts (though it'd be shameful to delete my account D"= so i'll just leave it on its typical [INACTIVE] status as usual LOL SOUNDS LIKE MY DRIVERS HISTORY >.>) 

BUT THE REASON I AM HERE IS REALLY SIMPLE.
1) someone reminded me how "great" my art was (to me, it didn't feel so great at the time, but looking back on it, I'm still surprised that I was capable of even doing that D: )
2) I NEED TO RECOVER MY ART SKILLS. THE QUALITY OF MY BF'S BIRTHDAY GIFT HANGS IN THE BALANCE

_{yes I have a boyfriend now; he's a dork and he accidentally found my dA and now he wants me to draw him a pic DAMN YOU MATT FOR SHOWING HIM ITOWUDOEWIGVBO im joking kinda not really WHY COULDNT I JUST SING HIM A SONG ohyeah bc we're music students already whoops also I can't sing}

but seriously, I can't remember how to shade at all and it's driving me insane D:
(THE WOES OF ALWAYS BS-ING SHADING AND NEVER HAVING A SOLID STRATEGY DOWN)

Anyway, I'm glad to be back  
Feel free to say hi via notes and whatnot~ I'm not going to be replying to any of the comments or replies because I'm starting fresh (but know that I did in fact read the comments andddd I appreciate them very much thank you so much ^^) Meanwhile, I'll be here trying to remember how to shade hair

Just thought I'd finally make it official.

And my reason?
Just... my semester.

I took the Asian 5-pack in terms of courses for Gr 12
And I ended up having 4 of 5 of those.

MY SEMESTER CONSISTS OF CHEMISTRY, PHYSICS, ADVANCED FUNCTIONS, AND BIOLOGY.

MY NORMAL DAYS AFTER SCHOOL ARE SPENDING FROM 4 - 5 HOURS DOING HOMEWORK.
NORMAL DAYS.
AND BY THAT, I MEAN WHEN I DONT HAVE A PROJECT DUE OR A TEST TMRW.

My weekends are even worse cuz I actually do have a life so I go and do either driving lessons or stuff with friends or whatever on top of the 10 hours of homework (not even lying here... I legitimately spend a whole day of my weekend specifically on homework TO "AVOID" PROCRASTINATION) I have because my teachers believe that because it's the weekend, it means that we're capable of doing more work.

I'm trying to get into biochem for university, which means that I OBVIOUSLY need bio and chem as well as the two maths they offer in Ontario (Advanced Functions and Calculus + Vectors)~ And the only way I can get into my program is if I get at least an 87 average.

Not bad, considering how I usually get a 95 avg tbh

But I've actually just been really unlucky this past month (like "this can't be Sheena because I thought she was smart" kind of unlucky) and now I'm Asian-failing physics (75; it was a test out of 28 and I messed only ONE question wrong, which dropped me from a 97 to a 75. yeah.) and adv. functions (88; CUZ I COMPLETELY BOMBED THE DIAGNOSTIC AND ENDED UP WITH A 58. but honestly, the fact that i got a 93 on the first unit test was a real confidence booster, so apparently that 58 is recoverable. Also, it was only a diagnostic phewww...) that, and there's a ton to memorize for organic chem and biochem (in biology... it's macromolecules and stuff <3 *fangirls over enzymes*) and I already have two formal labs and unit tests for all four of these subjects coming up before the Canadian Thanksgiving Weekend (Oct. 11) AND JUST IM FREAKING OUT OKAY.

And of course, the biggest reason is that I need the money that comes out of high grades... like the scholarships and stuff. And so because I have my most important subjects this semester, I simply can't afford to slack off anymore. Hell, right now it's 7:15 and I'm freaking out because I have about 1.5 hours worth of both Chem and Physics respectively on top of the bio stuff and just... *table flips* BUT APPARENTLY WHEN YOU HAVE MY SUBJECTS / COURSE LOAD, A 95 AVG IS RIDICULOUSLY HARD TO OBTAIN. SO *cries*

This might be one of my more rash decisions, but I've been thinking about doing this for ages and I simply can't have this up without it haunting me about all the obligations I owe people and such. Yes, dA is actually one of the factors of my stress.

And so this is why I'm simply just not coming back. I might come back next year when my work load cools down (seriously, I have NO hard subjects next year amg) AND ALSO GOINGSKYWARD WHEN YOU READ THIS DONT FREAK OUT IM LIKE 75% DONE YOUR COMMISSION I JUST CANT FIND THE TIME TO FINISH IT SO IF YOU DONT MIND, I'LL USE MY GarudoNyx ACCOUNT TO GIVE THAT TO YOU DONT WORRYYYYY) but honestly, I sincerely doubt it.

I need to start earning my own money, so I'm going to pick up a job or something... that, and I'm doing tutoring (paid AND unpaid; unpaid so I have a chance at that Science Award) And also I did mention that music has been such a big part of my life too... I have two RCM exams coming up before I graduate and the cover band stuff and the steel pan stuff <3 I wish I still had the opportunity to show it to you guys, but meh life happens.

And now for the sappy part about my "I AM LEAVING DAMMIT" journal:

It was very nice knowing all of you! I spent like 3 years here, and they were 3 years that helped me grow as a person. I was really anti-social in gr 9 and often spent my time on fanfiction and dA as an escape from reality / to keep me company. I may sound upbeat and awesome here (haha sure) but irl, I was an intravert, shy Asian girl who did nothing but study and half-ass her way through life.

So essentially I was a loser who liked anime.
That's the label I ended up with in Gr 9 and is why people avoided me.

But by meeting people here and learning to hold a conversation and socialize without the pressure of being face-to-face / judged harshly helped me figure out how to develop my relationships irl! The besties I made on this site know who you are (we were like a crew hahaa~) and seriously, I still value you guys so much! Thank you for everything and maybe we might get lucky and meet in person someday... idk how we'd recognize each other, but hahaa if you happen to meet a Filipino girl named Sheena who has straight teeth and doesn't look like she cares about what her hair looks like... that's /probably/ me. Probably.

Amg, am I gonna miss all of you guys =/ You were the biggest reason I didn't want to leave, but as you noticed, I've been spreading the distance from myself and you guys as much as I can over the course of the two years and that's really because I started to enjoy life outside of the computer... I started to really live and I just didn't need to use the Internet to keep me company as much. It was really so one day (like today), I could like... Okay, think about it this way: dA is like a nest that sheltered me, but once I grew up and was ready, this "leaving dA" thing is me being pushed out of the nest so I can finally learn to fly Idk, wingy metaphors... that's just like me ^^"

*sighs* I really will miss all of you you've all been so nice to me T^T

ANYWAY.

20K PVs too guys~ I wish I could draw a kiriban for thanksss but...
And for the 9 new watchers that decided to watch me for whatever reason (idk why, but you guys are so cool) sorry I couldn't stick around a while longer for you to see any new uploads ^^"

So yeah.
Pray for me.
My luck so far has been a double-edged sword lately (BEST teachers, but SUICIDE semester, etc.), so I need all the help I can get.

Again, thank you for everything you guys have done for me! And if I'm lucky, I might even end up coming back... (well, obviously I will till Oct. cuz I need to answer any last questions before I disappear off of dA) but yeah See ya~

- wingzG

...time to say thank you to everyone! asdf this is gonna take a bit of time >.<"
sorry for the late replies in advanced!!!

-wingzG

(random journal is random)

tomorrow.
 technically~

EDIT: I POSTED THIS ON EXACTLY MIDNIGHT. I AM A BOSS.

if you live on the other side of the world, then it's today... though since I was born in the Philippines, I guess I'd have to take that into account too ^^" but anyway...

Auggy 21 is my b-day.
And apparently I'm turning 17 wow guys.
this is a big issue... i mean, i'm going into my senior year of high school but i STILL play pokemon
and also i thought I'd be bigger ^^" i'm still tiny asdf _{and also an ironing board}

Jokes aside, I still can't believe it. I'm literally a 12 year old in a(n almost) 17 year old's body! I'm not ready to grow up and do high school senior things AND ALSO GRADUATE LIKE WTF NO IM NOT READY TO BE AN ADULT. tbh even now I still don't know what I'm doing... but that's a different journal for later OwO"

Hmm... I remember starting this account four months into my freshman year.
And now I'm going into my senior year wow....
If you couldn't tell, I'm still really dumbfounded by how old I've gotten. (where has the time gone??)

My parents tell me that I'm still too young to complain about how old I am BUT LOL NO I STILL REMEMBER THE DAYS WHEN I THOUGHT TURNING 16 / 17 WAS A LONG WAY OFF SO I AM COMPLAINING.

Hmm... *breathes* okay, well... I'm probs going to Wonderland for my bday lol ^^" i really wanted to hang out with friends, but apparently i've been going over to my friends' house so often that my family feels neglected... and so they're like "Noooo wingy, you must spend time with your family on your birthdayyyyy".

OH BUT FOR BIRTHDAY GIFTS.
I WENT DOWN TO VIRGINIA BEACH ON THE FIRST WEEK OF AUGGY AND I GOT LIKE $465 IN AMERICAN MONEY, $100 OF THAT ON A PRE-PAID DEBIT CARD THAT WAS RESTRICTED TO PURCHASES MADE IN THE USA (why would you give a USA-only debit card to a Canadian like c'mon, think about that for a minute) BUT ANYWAY SO I HAD $100 TO BLOW OFF ANYWHERE AND SO I DECIDED TO GET TALES OF XILLIA... THE COLLECTOR'S EDITION WITH THE GORGEOUS OST CD AND CHAR BOOK AND OMGGGG ITS SOO GOOD GUYSSS GO PLAY XILLIA PLEASEEEEE I GOT UP TO THE THING THAT MAKES EVERYONE'S EYES TEAR UP AND JUST ASDFGHJKL MY FEELS.

WAIT DID SOMEONE SAY XILLIA FANART?
OKAY SURE.
*ahem*

<sub>anyway, unrelated news... I just spent like at LEAST 24 hours on this thing that I mentioned before about Trauma Center. If you didn't get the obvious "B Minor is the Key" hint, I was referring to how every single Trauma Center OST is written in B minor and how I'm covering a particular OST with my friends. Unfortunately, we ran into a bit of trouble with audio syncing ^^" it's harder to play with a metronome than we thought *sighs* I intended to have the video out before senior year, but at this point I might not finish till November (video editing I mean... audio stuff HAS TO BE FINISHED by the end of the summer OwO") Just a heads-up to anyone who cared enough to read this journal and likes Trauma Center.... I might need a bit of help advertising to the fandom We are not doing all this work for a measly 100 views on youtube or something.

kthxbai</sub>